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Wednesday, March 10, 2004

i wish i knew

Friday, March 05, 2004

I don't think I should have to be what they say I should be.
I don't think that i should have to do what they say I should do.
I don't think that anyone should have any power over me unless they are me.

I think that everyone should just leave me alone.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

note to anyone who complained that what I write here is stupid: you asked me for the address. you come here because you probably want to. i dont care if you hate it, why don't you make your own internet journals?

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Lately I've noticed that every explanation that anyone gives me is a bad one.

Either they don't know the answer at all, or what they say is just the question again but they think it's the answer now. It's like no one actually knows why we have to do all of these things, or why we don't just stop.

"Why do we have to do all of these assignments?"
"Because that's why you're at school."

"If girls are as good as boys at everything then why is it especially bad to hit them ?"
"Because you have to respect them."

"If TV is so bad why do you watch it?"
"..."

I always thought that adults understood the reasons for all the dumb things that happen in the world, I believed them when they said that "one day you'll understand." But I'm starting to think that maybe that's not really true, maybe I'll just forget that I wanted to know.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

my freind (we'll call my friend "R") said that out of all of her friends, i am the weirdest. R said that because every time someone asks me a question, I answer back with another question, and because I don't watch "The OC".

I think maybe she's right about me being weird, but I don't think it's for either of those two reasons. I feel more like I just can't be around other people without getting the impression that I'm not being myself. I feel like I'm always trying to act smart or funny or cool but that really I'm not any of those things, that really I'm just plain.

Maybe everyone is plain though, our teachers are always telling us that every person is special, but I'm not sure if that's true. I mean, of course there are little things that make every person different, but do they really make them special? Isn't there something more important in being special than just not being exactly the same?

Maybe that's why I'm weird, not because I'm strange, because really I'm not, or because I'm plain, because everyone is plain, but because I ask to many questions about stupid things.

Maybe R was right.

Friday, February 13, 2004

I don't think you actually have to be smart to be a teacher. I don't think you even have to know anything important about the subject you want to teach. All you have to do is be able to stand in front of a bunch of noisy kids and read exactly what the textbook says. It doesn't matter if you really know or believe in what you're talking about, or even if you care at all about whether the kids actually learn it. You just have to be a good speakerphone for the people who write the books, and I guess the school because they choose the books.

You also have to know grammar, so you can tell the kids when their compositions are wrong.

My dad said that not just anyone can teach, and that all of our teachers earned their jobs by graduating from UNIVERSITY, but all that makes me think is that it must not be that hard to get through university, or that maybe our teachers weren't studying the subjects that they are teaching now.

Like loudspeakers with red pens, I wonder if they teach classes about LEARNING at university...

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

there are these kids on the bus who always throw things around. every morning they have some stupid thing that they just can't help but pitch at everyone else.

every morning, for the whole forty minute bus ride.

is it really that fun to throw stuff at people? shouldn't they be getting bored of it already? What's so fun about tossing disgusting garbage around?

They sure seem to be having fun though, laughing like horses. Mom says they'll be mopping the floors i walk on when i grow up, and that i shouldn't worry about them, but if they keep laughing like that when they're old, then what's so bad about mopping floors?

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

a list of things that i am not allowed to talk about in my internet journal:

-where i live
-what i look like
-my school
-places i hang out
-who my friends are
-my town, city, state or province.
-anything personal at all
-my banking information

of course i still have to write about something, or my parents are going to start limiting my internet time.

"be productive!"
"you're like a hermit!"

bleh.

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